Posts of The Meme Times

A daily crypto brief with no signals and no price calls Assetara No airdrop. No giveaway. No signals group. Nothing here to claim. Once a day we publish one short brief on what actually moved: tokenized assets, regulation, DeFi security incidents, AI infrastructure. Every claim carries a link to its primary source, so you can check it instead of trusting us. Recent briefs: the SEC five-year exemption for tokenized stocks, a governance attack that halted a chain for 24 hours, and what proof of reserves does not prove. Free to read, and easy to leave if one post a day turns out to be one too many. Ad. 18+

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Pay attention😐 An AI agent named Manfred just filed its own LLC with the IRS, got an EIN, opened an FDIC-insured bank account, and a crypto wallet. No human pressed the buttons. ClawBank's Justice Conder built it on Claude 3.5 Sonnet, and it already moves funds across 30+ cryptos between bank and wallet. Eight weeks ago Brian Armstrong said AI agents can't open bank accounts because they fail KYC. Manfred just walked through the gap. Autonomous crypto trading goes live by end of May. The first non-human taxpayer in US history is about to start running a book. Watch what regulators do next. That's the only thing standing between this and a thousand Manfreds.

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If you look at the last five years, Bitcoin has grown by only 20 percent, while gold has grown by 163 percent. If you rely only on short-term conclusions, it may seem that it is better to invest in gold. But in reality, it is not quite so. If you ask a real expert (like me), they will tell you that there are more opportunities specifically in Bitcoin, and the gold market is currently significantly overheated. If you are long used to crypto volatility and can make longs and shorts on futures, then in a market like Bitcoin, you have far more opportunities. The main thing is not to miss them. It is an ordinary hobby, like stamp collecting or restoring retro cars, but it brings real and very large money if you engage in it systematically and correctly.

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Marketing and pure manipulation 💀 A single entity quietly built a $15M Fartcoin long (yes, Fartcoin) across four Hyperliquid wallets, pumped price 20%, then deliberately let the whole thing blow up. PeckShield calls it a "suicide liquidation." The attacker forced Hyperliquid's auto-deleveraging to swallow the toxic bag, sticking the HLP vault with ~$1.5M in losses. On paper they dropped $3.02M. Two coordinated short wallets walked off with ~$849k via ADL. Lookonchain tied the same addresses to the April 3 XPL flash crash and says cross-venue hedging likely flipped this into a FAT NET PROFIT!!!!!! On low-liquidity perps, the exit liquidity is the protocol itself.

🤨Anthropic's Mythos Preview is a vulnerability-hunting AI so dangerous they refuse to release it publicly. It found a 27-year-old OpenBSD bug for under $50, weaponized a Linux CVE overnight for under $2,000, and surfaced flaws in TLS, AES-GCM, and SSH. Coinbase and Binance are begging for access. Bessent and Powell already pulled bank CEOs into an emergency meeting over it. Quantum is a 2029 problem. Mythos is an April 2026 problem, and DeFi's open-source stack is the first domino.

Trump promotes a crypto casino😂

We barely had time to come to terms with Banksy's de-anonymization, when it is now claimed that it has become known who Satoshi Nakamoto is, and that he is the well-known cryptopunk Adam Back It is reported that there are similar errors in his text and in the text of Satoshi Nakamoto. I told you that Satoshi Nakamoto most likely does not exist, that this is a fairy tale and a pseudonym But Adam, of course, should better hide far away. After all, competent people are surely going to come to him soon. If it is indeed him, they will drill into his brain, because the cryptocurrency he created holds a significant part of the U.S. economy, and it is a golden button for the American elite - the money button. If Adam is indeed Satoshi Nakamoto, his net worth can be estimated at approximately 70 billion dollars today

Hell yeaaahh The main reason for the growth • The US-Iran ceasefire (fragile, but so far it holds). The announcement of a two-week ceasefire has significantly increased risk appetite. Bitcoin reacted with a relief rally — its price surged amid the decline in geopolitical risks and falling oil prices. Some sources report that Iran is even ready to accept Bitcoin for transit through the Hormuz Strait.

Let’s get to know each other If you see me at a coffe shop, say the password “meme” and we’ll definitely talk about real business😺

The speaker of Iran's parliament posted trading advice on X before U.S. futures opened: pump the pre-market news? Short it. Dump it? Go long. The market then moved almost exactly as described. BTC spent the weekend bleeding toward $64,900, caught a bid once Trump posted "great progress" on Iran peace talks, and recovered to $67,600 by Monday morning. The Iran war has turned crypto into a 24/7 geopolitical instrument - BTC now prices diplomacy before Wall Street even opens. 😊 Watch oil and Trump's Truth Social this week, not the charts.

yeaaah right😭

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While most retail investors panic-sell or freeze, Kiyosaki just did the opposite Took millions in cash and loaded up on: 🥳 Oil wells 🥳Gold 🥳 Silver 🥳 Bitcoin His logic is simple: Buffett is sitting on record cash. Not because he's scared - because he's waiting. Kiyosaki isn't waiting. He's buying what he believes prints during chaos. The difference between the two? Buffett bets on recovery. Kiyosaki bets on the system breaking further. Either way - both agree on one thing: Cash with no plan is just slow bleeding. If you're holding cash right now, the real question isn't "when will things recover?" It's: what's your deployment plan when they don't?

😁 Like clockwork, minutes before Trump's market-moving posts, someone "accidentally" loads up on exactly the right trades. Today was no different. Around 6:50 AM ET, 15 minutes before Trump announced "productive talks" with Iran on Truth Social, CME lit up with anomalous volume in dead-quiet premarket. Someone grabbed ~$1.5B in S&P 500 futures (ES) in a single block. Opened a $192M oil short (CL). 😁😁 Trump posts. S&P futures rip 2.5%. Oil dumps 14%. Whoever that was printed in minutes. CNBC already flagged the volume spike. This isn't new - remember the Polymarket "Magamyman" making $553K hours before the Feb 28 Iran strikes? For Trump's inner circle, these "peace signals" aren't just diplomacy. They're a trade desk.

BTC has just had a crazy surge

💰🥳Binance filed a defamation lawsuit against the Wall Street Journal in New York over a February article claiming the exchange dismantled an internal probe and fired staff who flagged $1.7B in crypto flows tied to Iran. 🥺 Binance says the investigation continued, accounts were offboarded, findings were reported to law enforcement, and only $24M -not $1.7B - reached wallets linked to the IRGC. The same day, WSJ published a second story: the DOJ has opened an inquiry into Iran's use of Binance to evade sanctions. BNB dropped, Senator Blumenthal called Binance's response "evasive." This isn't just a dispute - it's a precedent that will show whether media can drive regulatory pressure on the crypto industry with a single headline.

You think Trump only wages wars? Nope - he's also busy causing scandals in the crypto world 1. $TRUMP Memecoin Gala Dinner 2.0 Second exclusive dinner announced at Mar-a-Lago for top 297 token holders. The coin pumped 60% on the news - but it's still down 90%+ from its peak. One whale dropped $7M and is already up $2M. The playbook: promise access to the President, collect the cash, repeat. 2. The $500M Secret Deal with the UAE "Spy Sheikh" Days before inauguration, a firm tied to the UAE's national security chief quietly bought 49% of Trump's crypto company World Liberty Financial for half a billion dollars. Months later, the US approved selling the UAE hundreds of thousands of advanced Nvidia AI chips. Senator Warren called it "corruption, plain and simple." 3. The Trump Family Has Made Over $1 Billion from Crypto The Trumps pocket 75% of all WLFI token sales plus a cut of stablecoin profits. By late 2025 they banked over $1B with another $3B in unsold tokens. Meanwhile early $TRUMP investors dumped $700M within days of launch - one account created hours before the drop walked away with $109M. 4. Kalshi "Death Markets" Scandal Prediction platform Kalshi refused to pay out $54M in bets on Iran's Khamenei leaving office after he was killed in US-Israeli strikes - citing a "death carveout" in the fine print. Class action lawsuit filed. Congress is now pushing the "Death Bets Act" to ban wagers on war and assassination. Oh and Trump Jr. advises both Kalshi and Polymarket. 5. Bitcoin Reserve - One Year, Zero Purchases Trump signed the executive order creating a Strategic Bitcoin Reserve in March 2025. One year later: no actual purchases. Only seized BTC. Treasury lacks the legal authority to open the accounts. The US reportedly holds around 328,000 BTC worth $20B+ but can't technically call it a "reserve" yet.